The Wedding Feast

Jesus loves his bride. When we look at the church as his bride we begin to see things differently, we see men and women being prepared for their wedding day. It will take a lot to turn our adulterous hearts into a worthy bride, but as we seek him we are purified. We, as his bride, worship in adoration of our coming groom. We await expectantly for the strength and love found in his arms alone. We long for the day we can embrace our lover in the security of our union to be made one by our covenant. The church is the first fruit of his redeemed creation. She is clean lovely redeemed and beautiful. Her past has been washed away and her heart belongs to Jesus. He loves her blemishes. He doesn't mind seeing her with no makeup. He still loves her just the same. He loves her bad habits. He even loves her inconsistent love for him. He loves that she's cranky in the morning. He loves her bad breath. He loves her hairy legs. To him see is beautiful!

A Memoire from Judas

I've begun to realize that the part of the passion narrative that resonates most with me isn't the fact that Jesus came to save our souls, or that God sent his son. For me what resonates is that when the mob yells "Crucify him" I can hear among them my very own voice. What's even worse is that mine is the loudest. I can hear my voice above the entire uprising of people condemning him to death.

"My sin yells 'Crucify' louder than the mob that day.
My sin yells 'Crucify' louder than any mouth!"

"The price of atonement is more than i've found to offer up as my plea,
Jesus my heart is all i have to give to you, so weak and so unworthy,
this simply will not do,for your body that was broken, how can this be enough?
by me you were abandoned, by me you were betrayed,
yet in your arms and in your heart forever i have stayed"


"Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished"

I often think of how much I hate injustice in this world, I know that God is a God of judgment because he needs to bring the world back to him. I still can't help but feel as if what I hate in injustice is the very things that I house in my very own heart. This is a sobering thought. How do I deal with the depravity within my heart?

You Lift Me Up

You lift me up
Your love never ceases

I am falling apart
My fragile heart breaks
Because with my foolish hands
I have pushed you away

You lift me up
Your love never ceases

When I carry the world
All on top of my back
The weight of it all
Pushes me down

You lift me up
Your love never ceases

When your freedom reigns
I have been set free
In your love arms
I place my life

You lift me up
Your love never ceases

The Promised Land

Moses was a Hebrew superhero. If you were a good Jewish kid, growing up you wouldn't have action figures of Batman or Spiderman instead you'd have your talking, action pose Moses! He was the hero of his people for leading them from captivity in Egypt to freedom in the Sinai Desert. It sounds like a bum deal, but it wasn't, for the first time in years, the Hebrews were finally able to experience true freedom. These people had been promised a land, and it was Moses who was supposed to lead them out from Egypt into this Promised Land. However, as you read Exodus, you find out that the people are really stubborn, and aren't interested in following God. What happens, he decides to let the entire generation die before he leads them into their inheritance. Among this generation, of course is Moses.
In the final chapter of Deuteronomy, the final book written by Moses, it details this anticlimactic story of God taking Moses up on Mt. Nebo, and showing him all of the Promised Land. When he gets done showing Moses the land, I can almost imagine Moses asking God, "It's so beautiful... When do we go?" And God having to tell him, "well that's just the thing... you won't be going there." Moses dies on Mt. Nebo presumably looking out over the Promised Land.
But that isn't the end of the story...
Fast forward close to two thousand years and you have some crazy rabbi from Gallilee walking around The Promised Land teaching people according to the Law of Moses. He's teaching them about resurrection, some kingdom of God, he's even stirring up trouble with the guys who are meant to be upholding the righteous Law of Moses. He even claims to be the very son of God, teaching that faith in him brings salvation. He takes a few of his closest buddies up on a tall mountain in the Promised Land and the craziest thing happens... The rabbi turns bright white and out of two clouds appear two different super heroes, Elijah and Moses, not the one with movable arms and voice activated action poses, but the real one... the one from two thousand years before. The guys following their rabbi ask him if they should build a tabernacle for them, but before the can even get the who question out they hear like thunder shaking the sky, "THIS IS MY SON; WITH WHOM I AM WELL PLEASED. LISTEN TO HIM!" They look up and only their rabbi was there. It's easy to wonder what these disciples are thinking, but what about Moses? He is standing face to face with the very Son of God having a conversation, then next thing Moses knows he's gone. I often find myself wondering if he realized that the Promised Land he was told he'd never enter into was exactly where he was standing. I like to imagine that after this scenario plays itself out that Elijah looks at Moses and says, the Promised Land is something else huh? Only for Moses to come back with something like, "THAT WAS THE PROMISED LAND? I was so focused on Jesus I missed the very same Promised Land I spent my life trying to get to."
When Moses died he had no doubt that he'd never see the Promised Land and yet God's faithfulness to Moses brought him back from the dead in the middle of the promised land... to see his Messiah or annointed one. Not only did God show himself faithful with the land, but also with showing him the man who would change history. It is a beautiful thing.

Irresistible

I started reading my favorite book, Irresistible Revolution, again, and frankly I find it Irresistible. It has started reminding me so much of the things that I've been excited about. Its shown me the passion and fire that I feel like I've to a large degree lost. I used to be so excited to serve the world, to humble myself to see someone lifted out of the muck of this life, yet somehow this flame I once had, has largely burnt out. Yet while I read the words of passion that Claiborn writes, I can't help but remember the time when I decided to be homeless, when I took to the streets for no other reason than that Christ needs to be represented in the dark places. So much of the comfort of my life has strangled my passion, but I think its time I go back to my roots. Jeff Hubbard once told me that I was a selfless revolutionary, and until I once again fill that title I will not rest. I want to be an ordinary radical who frequently lays my life down for the benefit of others, and takes up my cross and becomes a mockery for the beautiful and glorious name of Jesus Christ. I want to once again look upon the injustice in this world and be completely broken by it. I want to become nauseated when I hear of the depravity of the world I live in. I no longer want to carry complacency and comfort, I nail it to the cross and from here on out I will carry the cross of knowing that people out there hurt, and that it is my duty to help them.

The Body of Christ

I have to confess that sometimes it is so discouraging to deal with community. Recently a debate erupted here on campus as to whether or not pennies sticking to a wall was because of the Holy Spirit or if it was because of science. It was being handled in such a damaging way. Some people would post about the natural science laws, while others would respond in outrage to their lack of faith. In the long run, it didn't matter who was right. The body was destroying itself. Tooth and nail we were ripping each other apart. I have so much confidence in the body of Christ, I know we can do all things through the authority of Christ, but we need to unite. We need to overcome our differences and accept that they exist, yet rally around the things we have in common.

it is so that my transgressions have born a withered fruit,
the sun has scorched the rising plants;
alas they have no root, the bleached bones of animals bound by leather strips,
dance through the air with laughter as i wield this wicked whip,
as you did warn me carpenter, this world has weakened my heart,
so easily i disparage, self-seeking the work of my heart,
and there you have come to me at the moment I bathe in my sorrow,
so in love with myself, sought after avoiding tomorrow,
where do you find the love to offer he who betrays you?
and offer to wash my feet as i offer to disobey you,
your beauty does bereave me, and how my words do fail,
so faithfully and dutifully I award you with betrayal,
the weak and the down trodden fall on broken legs,
as i walk past a smile i cast, fervor in my stead,
but my bones like plastic, do buckle backward now,
I lay in this field by Judas' bowels and anticipate the plow,
I can not be forgiven; my wages will be paid,
for those more lovely and admirable is least among the saved,
and where would I fit Jesus?
what place is left for me?
the price of atonement is more than I've found to offer up as my plea,
Jesus my heart is all I have to give to you, so weak and so unworthy,
this simply will not do, no alabaster jar, no diamond in the rough,
for your body that was broken, how can this be enough?
by me you were abandoned, by me you were betrayed,
yet in your arms and in your heart forever i have stayed

Your glory illuminates my life, and no darkness will descend,
for you have loved me forever, and your love will never end