Irresistible

I started reading my favorite book, Irresistible Revolution, again, and frankly I find it Irresistible. It has started reminding me so much of the things that I've been excited about. Its shown me the passion and fire that I feel like I've to a large degree lost. I used to be so excited to serve the world, to humble myself to see someone lifted out of the muck of this life, yet somehow this flame I once had, has largely burnt out. Yet while I read the words of passion that Claiborn writes, I can't help but remember the time when I decided to be homeless, when I took to the streets for no other reason than that Christ needs to be represented in the dark places. So much of the comfort of my life has strangled my passion, but I think its time I go back to my roots. Jeff Hubbard once told me that I was a selfless revolutionary, and until I once again fill that title I will not rest. I want to be an ordinary radical who frequently lays my life down for the benefit of others, and takes up my cross and becomes a mockery for the beautiful and glorious name of Jesus Christ. I want to once again look upon the injustice in this world and be completely broken by it. I want to become nauseated when I hear of the depravity of the world I live in. I no longer want to carry complacency and comfort, I nail it to the cross and from here on out I will carry the cross of knowing that people out there hurt, and that it is my duty to help them.

The Body of Christ

I have to confess that sometimes it is so discouraging to deal with community. Recently a debate erupted here on campus as to whether or not pennies sticking to a wall was because of the Holy Spirit or if it was because of science. It was being handled in such a damaging way. Some people would post about the natural science laws, while others would respond in outrage to their lack of faith. In the long run, it didn't matter who was right. The body was destroying itself. Tooth and nail we were ripping each other apart. I have so much confidence in the body of Christ, I know we can do all things through the authority of Christ, but we need to unite. We need to overcome our differences and accept that they exist, yet rally around the things we have in common.

it is so that my transgressions have born a withered fruit,
the sun has scorched the rising plants;
alas they have no root, the bleached bones of animals bound by leather strips,
dance through the air with laughter as i wield this wicked whip,
as you did warn me carpenter, this world has weakened my heart,
so easily i disparage, self-seeking the work of my heart,
and there you have come to me at the moment I bathe in my sorrow,
so in love with myself, sought after avoiding tomorrow,
where do you find the love to offer he who betrays you?
and offer to wash my feet as i offer to disobey you,
your beauty does bereave me, and how my words do fail,
so faithfully and dutifully I award you with betrayal,
the weak and the down trodden fall on broken legs,
as i walk past a smile i cast, fervor in my stead,
but my bones like plastic, do buckle backward now,
I lay in this field by Judas' bowels and anticipate the plow,
I can not be forgiven; my wages will be paid,
for those more lovely and admirable is least among the saved,
and where would I fit Jesus?
what place is left for me?
the price of atonement is more than I've found to offer up as my plea,
Jesus my heart is all I have to give to you, so weak and so unworthy,
this simply will not do, no alabaster jar, no diamond in the rough,
for your body that was broken, how can this be enough?
by me you were abandoned, by me you were betrayed,
yet in your arms and in your heart forever i have stayed

Your glory illuminates my life, and no darkness will descend,
for you have loved me forever, and your love will never end

Forgiveness

"Though your sins are like scarlet,
they shall be as white as snow;
though they are red as crimson,
they shall be like wool"
- Isaiah 1:18

"The Lord our God is merciful and forgiving,
even though we have rebelled against him"
-Daniel 9:9

"As far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us."
-Psalm 103:12

"I, even I, am he who blots out
your transgressions, for my own sake,
and remembers your sins no more."
-Isaiah 43:25

I Am Forgiven

Fellowship

Last month was my 21st birthday. I thought it would be fun to have a big dinner thing at a pizza place. Elisa made reservations, I invited everyone I knew. The big day came, I arrived 15 minutes late to find a completely empty pizza hall. I don't know I've ever been so bummed out. No one was coming to my birthday. However, my sorrow quickly turned to joy as almost like clockwork people started pouring in. People began filing in one after another until almost the entire party room was full! There were a good 20 people in there to celebrate with me. To top it off I was surprised by a dear friend of mine from Paradise who had come up just for the night to be there for my birthday. I felt so special. No one had ever taken the time to make sure I had a birthday to remember. (Thanks Elisa!)
Towards the end of the night, I started getting tired from all the amazing pizza I had eaten. I was sitting in a corner digesting, just sort of enjoying the moment, when it dawned on me. I wasn't personally engaging anyone at the time, but it brought me so much pleasure to know that everyone in that room had gathered because they wanted to be with me. It was incredible. 20 people who loved me all coming together for no other reason than to love the fact that I was born.
I think this is very much how God is. When we gather in fellowship, we may not mention his name, or our relationship with him, yet there is something so powerful about believers coming together simply to exist in the presence of their savior. God delights in it. He sees his children coming together just to eat and celebrate, and his heart lightens. His face fills with joy, and his laugh begins to shake the universe.

The Name

In the Bible times, the Hebrew people would name their kids based on either something God had done for them, or a characteristic of that kid. For instance, names such as Rafael. Rafa means healing, while El is a contraction of the word Elohim meaning God. So Rafael means "God is the healer". Or with Esau in Genesis, he was born very red and hairy, so his parents called him Esau or "Red Guy". Likewise, Malachi comes from the Hebrew word Malak which means messenger, and ai which would translate as my. Malachi at birth was proclaimed to be "My Messenger." The Hebrews had an understanding that their name was everything. That by the very nature of their name, you would be able to tell so much about a person. Your name was all important in the Hebrew society. Isaiah does something interesting when he writes, he names his kids based on what would come to happen in Israel. Even in the New Testament we see predictions about a person based on how they are named. Mary and Joseph were commanded to name their son, who would be born miraculously from a couple who had never consummated their marriage, Jesus. In Hebrew his name is Yehu-Shua. Yehu being a shortening of the divine name YHWH and Shua meaning salvation. Jesus' name was Joshua or the "Lord is My Salvation". It even says in Matthew 1:21 that "She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins." Was there ever a more powerful name attached to person? The very name of Jesus proclaimed that God's salvation was present. The very core of his person was the salvation that God has to offer his broken creation. It is no wonder that his name is the Name above all names.

Life Is Good

I was realizing, that a lot of my recent blogs have been almost exclusively about how terrible life has been. Granted, this semester has sucked, there is still so much good in my life. Honestly, I feel as if I'm such a blessed man. I have been given some of the best friends in the world, like Nolan. Every time either of us feel down, we have some of the best guy time in the world. Or Jeef! even though he lives across the state, we're just as much roommates now as when we actually lived together. If having two of the best friends in the world isn't enough, I also have an absolutely gorgeous girlfriend who loves the crap out of me all the time. I've never felt more loved and honored than when I'm around her. Even when I do dumb things, she is so understanding and treats me with such respect. I've never felt more valued in my life.
If all that isn't enough, I have a God and Savior whose love for me is new every day and even though I don't feel super close to him, his presence in my life overwhelms me. It is a beautiful thing to look at where I've come from and be able to realize how much God has saved me from. He has really rocked my face in recently with how much he loves me.

I am truly blessed.

Global Economics

There was a day not too long ago, when I was walking and a nice young woman asked me if I'd like to try a free sample of milk. I, of course, said yes. I drank my milk and started to ask the woman what she was doing. She told me about how a prominent milk company pays her to promote their product. After some time, she told me that if I'd like I could take as much milk as I want. So I did, I took about 8 crates full of milk. In my mind, I had this beautiful vision of sharing my milk with everyone in my dorm, so I put it in the floor refrigerator so people could have equal access to it. I went about the rest of my day as normal and that night I decided I'd like some milk, so I went to the fridge only to find out that all the milk had been taken. I didn't understand how in only a few hours a fridge full of milk could be completely empty. I ended up discovering that the few privledged in the dorm who had mini fridges would go in and take as much milk as their fridges could hold. Of course those who had the means of storing it would take more than they needed when there was enough milk in that fridge for everyone in the whole dorm. On the same note, there are plenty of resources in the whole world for everyone to have their needs met. America alone grows almost enough food to feed Africa. I mourn for us as a people. I mourn the fact that we are so selfish that it is ok for us as a nation to be so grossly overfed while there are still people out there starving. Where is the justice?

Humanity

Sometimes it's easy to think that as humans we've evolved in a sense. Looking at the advances in technology, political theory, relief work, and even the way humans interact. Take for instance the way the world responded to the crisis in Haiti. A 7.5 earthquake devastates the country, and the whole world comes to the rescue. But if things are progressively getting better, then how do we account for the pain that comes at the hands of other human beings? In Uganda, there are men kidnapping children to have them fight a bloody horrible war. Or in Burma, the National Army could literally go from village to village seeking out ethnic minorities in order to cleanse the national population. What about the men in Amsterdam who kidnap women and sell them into the sex trade to fill their wallets? How can humanity being progressing towards a grand Utopia if we are still so capable of causing so much pain on other human beings? It seems so obvious to me that Humanity itself is hopeless. Stuck here with no hope. Even nature seems to be taking part in the onslaught. It's so difficult to see God in the midst of such despair. Where can he possibly be when the very ones who glorify his names are the ones buried underneath 8 feet of rubble from a tsunami? Where is God in bloated black stomachs? Where is he when a woman's body is treated like a commodity to buy and sell?