(This was never finished, but I thought it would be worth having available and when I can I'll finish it up)

I found myself reading the book of Jonah the other day.  Its not unusual for something to stand out to me about a book, or a passage, but this one really shook me.

For those unfamiliar with the story of Jonah I'll present a short re-cap.  Essentially, God speaks to his prophet (Jonah) and tells him that he needs to go to this nasty awful city called Nineveh and declare that Yahweh was in charge and would bring calamity on them if they didn't repent.  Jonah HATED Niveveh and the people who lived there.  So instead of following God's directions he ended up on a boat heading the exact opposite direction.  A few days into the voyage a crazy storm ended up hitting the ship and all the sailors got scared.  Jonah ended up telling them he was running away from God and jumped into the ocean where he was eaten by a "Great Fish".  He sat there three days before the fish threw him up right at the doorstep of Nineveh.  So Jonah did what any child would do if his parents asked him to do a task.  He half-asses it.  He runs through the town and in the quietest voice he could (that part may not be true, but its how I imagine it.) proclaimed that Nineveh would be destroyed if they didn't repent.  He then went to the top of a hill to watch the city burn.  When it didn't go up in flames he said this to God,

"O LORD, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity.Now, O LORD, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live"

The Pizza Place

About four years ago, I had the distinct honor of having one of my oldest and best friends visit me at my brand new school. It was such an exciting thing for me to have my friend meet all my new school friends. To celebrate his coming we all decided to go to pizza together. I for whatever reason had to run a few errands first so we decided for us to meet up with my new friends at the pizza place. To my delight, when we arrived, there were two seats already prepared for us. The only disappointing thing was that it was at an adjacent table to the one all my new friends were at. We were close enough for conversation, however as the night developed we found more and more that we were not only at our own table but in our own separate group. We ended up spending over an hour at the pizza place only to feel entirely ignored by my new friends. It was one of the most awkward and humiliating things I can imagine having happened.

What strikes me as strange in this is that I see this happen in the Church. We as Christians are called to invite people to a grand celebration, a feast, and too often seeing “sinners” or “those who've fallen from the fold” makes us uncomfortable so even though they are sitting in the seat next to us we don't give them the dignity to share a meal with them. Physically they're there, but we ignore their presence.

This happened to my oldest friend, as he began making bad decisions in his personal life, the church he attended and had invested so much of his life into had totally forsaken him. He was ignored and ostracized because of his life choices. He should've been the one we invited all the more eagerly to this amazing banquet. He knew the food was delicious, but the company was attrocious. How can we all be better dinner guests?

In Control

Its easy to forget that God is ultimately in control of everything. People let you down, finances are tight, car breaks down, life throws you a curve and that old familiar voice starts whispering his lies. Man you could never find a job, this car is done for, you can't handle this. When things start to feel chaotic the first thing I let go of is the all comforting sense that God has it in his hands.
I wonder how Joseph felt. His own family, whom he trusted enough to tell his dreams to, sold him into slavery, he was accused of rape, and was then thrown into prison. And I try to figure out where God is when my truck breaks down! His whole life changed and seemingly was taken from him. Thats the funny thing about God though is that in order for him to show us just how in control he is there is sometimes this whole journey of seeing things look out of our own control. If Joseph had never been sold into slavery things would've been easier for him for a while, but then a famine would sweep the land and he and his family would starve to death. Instead God brought him to the center of a heartless Egyptian empire and there brought him into a position of authority so that God would not only deliver Joseph and his family but also the entire nation.
God has whats best for us. Just because we're in some rotten stinking jail for a crime we didn't commit doesn't mean that God has left us. He is in control, and who knows maybe somehow one day we'll see that we didn't get that job, or a promotion or our cars broke down in order to shape how an entire nation would have to rely on him alone. Never forget: GOD IS IN CONTROL.

The Wedding Feast

Jesus loves his bride. When we look at the church as his bride we begin to see things differently, we see men and women being prepared for their wedding day. It will take a lot to turn our adulterous hearts into a worthy bride, but as we seek him we are purified. We, as his bride, worship in adoration of our coming groom. We await expectantly for the strength and love found in his arms alone. We long for the day we can embrace our lover in the security of our union to be made one by our covenant. The church is the first fruit of his redeemed creation. She is clean lovely redeemed and beautiful. Her past has been washed away and her heart belongs to Jesus. He loves her blemishes. He doesn't mind seeing her with no makeup. He still loves her just the same. He loves her bad habits. He even loves her inconsistent love for him. He loves that she's cranky in the morning. He loves her bad breath. He loves her hairy legs. To him see is beautiful!

A Memoire from Judas

I've begun to realize that the part of the passion narrative that resonates most with me isn't the fact that Jesus came to save our souls, or that God sent his son. For me what resonates is that when the mob yells "Crucify him" I can hear among them my very own voice. What's even worse is that mine is the loudest. I can hear my voice above the entire uprising of people condemning him to death.

"My sin yells 'Crucify' louder than the mob that day.
My sin yells 'Crucify' louder than any mouth!"

"The price of atonement is more than i've found to offer up as my plea,
Jesus my heart is all i have to give to you, so weak and so unworthy,
this simply will not do,for your body that was broken, how can this be enough?
by me you were abandoned, by me you were betrayed,
yet in your arms and in your heart forever i have stayed"


"Behold the Man upon a cross,
My sin upon His shoulders
Ashamed I hear my mocing voice,
Call out among the scoffers
It was my sin that helf Him there
Until it was accomplished
His dying breath has brought me life
I know that it is finished"

I often think of how much I hate injustice in this world, I know that God is a God of judgment because he needs to bring the world back to him. I still can't help but feel as if what I hate in injustice is the very things that I house in my very own heart. This is a sobering thought. How do I deal with the depravity within my heart?

You Lift Me Up

You lift me up
Your love never ceases

I am falling apart
My fragile heart breaks
Because with my foolish hands
I have pushed you away

You lift me up
Your love never ceases

When I carry the world
All on top of my back
The weight of it all
Pushes me down

You lift me up
Your love never ceases

When your freedom reigns
I have been set free
In your love arms
I place my life

You lift me up
Your love never ceases

The Promised Land

Moses was a Hebrew superhero. If you were a good Jewish kid, growing up you wouldn't have action figures of Batman or Spiderman instead you'd have your talking, action pose Moses! He was the hero of his people for leading them from captivity in Egypt to freedom in the Sinai Desert. It sounds like a bum deal, but it wasn't, for the first time in years, the Hebrews were finally able to experience true freedom. These people had been promised a land, and it was Moses who was supposed to lead them out from Egypt into this Promised Land. However, as you read Exodus, you find out that the people are really stubborn, and aren't interested in following God. What happens, he decides to let the entire generation die before he leads them into their inheritance. Among this generation, of course is Moses.
In the final chapter of Deuteronomy, the final book written by Moses, it details this anticlimactic story of God taking Moses up on Mt. Nebo, and showing him all of the Promised Land. When he gets done showing Moses the land, I can almost imagine Moses asking God, "It's so beautiful... When do we go?" And God having to tell him, "well that's just the thing... you won't be going there." Moses dies on Mt. Nebo presumably looking out over the Promised Land.
But that isn't the end of the story...
Fast forward close to two thousand years and you have some crazy rabbi from Gallilee walking around The Promised Land teaching people according to the Law of Moses. He's teaching them about resurrection, some kingdom of God, he's even stirring up trouble with the guys who are meant to be upholding the righteous Law of Moses. He even claims to be the very son of God, teaching that faith in him brings salvation. He takes a few of his closest buddies up on a tall mountain in the Promised Land and the craziest thing happens... The rabbi turns bright white and out of two clouds appear two different super heroes, Elijah and Moses, not the one with movable arms and voice activated action poses, but the real one... the one from two thousand years before. The guys following their rabbi ask him if they should build a tabernacle for them, but before the can even get the who question out they hear like thunder shaking the sky, "THIS IS MY SON; WITH WHOM I AM WELL PLEASED. LISTEN TO HIM!" They look up and only their rabbi was there. It's easy to wonder what these disciples are thinking, but what about Moses? He is standing face to face with the very Son of God having a conversation, then next thing Moses knows he's gone. I often find myself wondering if he realized that the Promised Land he was told he'd never enter into was exactly where he was standing. I like to imagine that after this scenario plays itself out that Elijah looks at Moses and says, the Promised Land is something else huh? Only for Moses to come back with something like, "THAT WAS THE PROMISED LAND? I was so focused on Jesus I missed the very same Promised Land I spent my life trying to get to."
When Moses died he had no doubt that he'd never see the Promised Land and yet God's faithfulness to Moses brought him back from the dead in the middle of the promised land... to see his Messiah or annointed one. Not only did God show himself faithful with the land, but also with showing him the man who would change history. It is a beautiful thing.